What a roller coaster week. Not necessarily in a bad way, just feel like I have been all over the place, mentally. Besides work drama, L.J. got his new hearing aids, we had some long awaited answers to some financial type issues, etc. Nothing over the top, just life, I guess. You know how things always seem to happen all at once!
Anyway, L.J. and I were at dinner tonight (Luis has spent a few days at his family's house this week -- nothing wrong, just visiting), and I was making some observations that made me think.
First of all, some people are just plain grouchy. My goodness, lighten up people! I have bad days the same as anyone, but if I had to go through life just being a generally unhappy person, I would go insane. So not me!
Not everyone, of course. Some people actually renew my hope in man kind.
L.J. is at the age where he wants me to read EVERYTHING to him. Which is fine, I like doing it, and I help him sound out the words with me. When I was taking him to school this morning, he asked me to read the back of the school bus that was in front of the school. I was and I was touching the words helping him sound them out, I didn't realize the driver and assistant were on the bus watching. Do you know they invited L.J. on the bus and took like just 3 or 4 minutes with him to show him how all the buttons work to turn on the lights and all? It only took a few minutes out of their day, but it made his whole day, and they probably don't even know. He walked off the bus and said, "Wow.... Mommy, that was awesome!" LOL
So simple, but so important to a little boy. Or any child, for people to just take the time with them. You never, ever know how the simplest of gestures may impact another person's day...positive or negative.
So think about it next time you're a grouch...especially to a kid, no wait, especially to MY kid.
L.J. LOVES to sing/dance/act. If you know him, you know that all too well. :) So at the table he was singing me this penguin song he learned at school (which I also love because it's helped to teach him left from right...score!). Do you know that he was dirty looked by adults from 2 different tables? Really people? He's 5, and he likes to entertain....he wasn't screaming, he was singing while we waited for dinner.
So bonus for you, dinner AND a free show....GAH, lighten up!
Then secondly, I noticed something more. These same 2 couples from 2 different tables, discussed over menus, I assume what they would be ordering....then never spoke again. Isn't that sad? They ordered, and all 4 adults gazed out of the windows like they wanted to be anywhere else, other than sitting across from the person whom I assume, is supposed to be the love of their life.
Based on how they were all dressed, I also assume they had been at work all day. And they were all probably in their 40's (so maybe kids, certainly work, geez even the weather) and there is nothing to talk about? Then I almost understood why they were aggravated by L.J.'s apparent happiness.
My child's simple, pure happiness reminded them of how unhappy they were, in that same moment. He wasn't "bothering" them, he made their insides hurt -- he made them sad. Yes, I know I overanalyze things, but just stay with me.
I know everyone is not happy and joyful every minute or every day. Luis and I have had MORE than enough drama for about 10 marriages. But it was more than that for those 2 couples. It was all over their faces, in their posture and body language. If you don't have anything else to talk about, then what's the point?
With ALL that we have been through in our marriage, and even things we still go through (I believe marriage is always a work in progress), I still go to bed every night knowing that I'm married to my best friend...even if we had a bad day. And with him out of work and me working from home, we are together ALL. THE. TIME. But we still talk constantly!
So instead of being defensive that they obviously didn't appreciate my son's entertainment as much as I, I smiled at them as we got up to leave. Only one of the 4 smiled back. But, just like the bus driver this morning, you never, ever know how the simplest of gestures may impact another person's day...positive or negative.
If I had dirty looked them back, all that would've done was confirm the sadness/disgust/unhappiness, whatever it is they were feeling in that moment would have been confirmed by another "grouchy" person. I don't want to be that person to anyone, not even a stranger if I can help it. Even L.J. made eye contact with them and said goodbye.
If you don't have anything to talk about at dinner out with your life partner, think of something. Don't look out of a window. Be present.
Be present so the other person feels you. And they in turn will be present.
Talk about anything, or smile, and reach for their hand. And say nothing. But BE there.
One day they won't be. And you'll wish you had someone to talk to, as opposed to sitting quietly, looking out of a window.
xoxo
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